PRETORIA. Children’s hero and family entertainer Julius Malema looks set to have his political career terminated before the end of the week after the BBC announced they had commissioned a new season of Teletubbies for 2012. “We won’t be doing it without Tinky Winky,” said a spokesperson for the broadcaster, Clumsy Segway.
While it had been rumoured for some time that Malema and Tinky Winky were one and the same person, it was only officially confirmed a week ago when Malema stepped out at his friend’s wedding in Mauritius wearing his original purple suit.
Segway, who admitted that Tinky Winky had been missing for some time, said he was delighted that one of the shows principal characters had been located again ahead of the new season.
“With hindsight we should have looked for him in the Youth League a long time ago,” said Segway who admitted that the television show and the ANCYL had much in common.
“Both are aimed at children between the ages of one and four,” he said, “But both enjoy substantial cult followings with older generations – mainly university and college students and other people with nothing to do.”
Segway went on to suggest that much of the successful Teletubby formula had been adopted by the ANCYL as it plotted its way to the summit of the South African political landscape.
“The mixture of repetitive, non-verbal dialogue, simple songs, bright colours and the occasional forays into physical comedy has seen it tap into the very heart of its demographic,” he said.
Asked if the 2012 Teletubbies would dress in the same colouful suits they wore at the turn of the century, Segway said that while he was not a costume expert, that a fatty in a purple outfit had as much class as a Peter Andre, Katie Price wedding.
“Which probably means it will be business as usual then for the Tubbies,” he said.
Segway added that he was not surprised that Tinky Winky had failed to avoid controversy during his time in charge of the ANCYL. As a Teletubby he was seldom out of the spotlight and in 1999 he dominated the headlines for the first time when American cleric Jerry Falwell claimed he was a homosexual role model for children.
Asked to comment on Falwell’s claims a spokesperson for Malema, Dipsy Makgalemele denied them. “He has never been a homosexual nor a role model,” he said. “And he never will be.”
When asked how Tinky Winky had gone unnoticed for so long at the head of a such a prominent political organization Makgalemele pointed to the sun as it began to set on the horizon and muttered, “Time for Telly bye bye,” before he rushed off to an unknown destination, where according to reports, the people dressed much better.