Past transgressions and future aspirations – By Bonga Zondo

Written by Bonga Zondo. Posted in Features, Lifestyle, Poetry

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Published on March 22, 2012 with No Comments">No Comments

They say that everything happens for a reason, that every grey cloud has a silver lining, but just how accurate is this? Are rainbows at the end of storms phenomena of nature or are they also applicable to our lives?

 

Slumps are something we are all familiar with. They can consume, overwhelm and even dictate how one lives their life. When you find yourself in a rut very little things have an influence in your life. External factors are nothing more than whispers diluted by the clamor and screaming inside your head.

 

Images, harmful words that were said, and apologies repeat in your head like a never-ending movie. Your thoughts are no longer yours and what you once were continues to drift into the abyss, to be never seen again. Very little matters aside from your regret and yearning to make things better.

 

The chance never arrives though; you are stuck with your thoughts and insomnia-clad nights.

 

Lightning never strikes the same place twice. Highest peak or not that jolt of electricity will never return. Pray as many times and as hard as you want, that ship has sailed to far away lands.

 

Your new dungeon might seem inescapable, but it is. Somehow things get better, you dream peacefully again and your haunting thoughts regularly relinquish their grip on your neck. In some cases the peace is temporary, only there for a few hours before something awakens all those emotions. The natural side of life becomes artificial, a reality you have long forgotten.

 

The future seems bleak, a hazy horizon that is bare as the Antarctic. You march on; head down without much expectation of what lies in the distance. What you find there is one of two things. Pure bliss that vanquishes all your past turmoil or a hell that makes your previous experience seem like child’s-play.

 

If you find the latter, heart-wrenching chaos might ensue. You look back to where you’ve come, dream and replay all those memories but pride prevents you from even attempting to track back. You carry on and go forward with hopes that you future aspirations and fantasies come into fruition. That is what eventually fuels your desires and serves as the mechanics that propel your legs forward even when the organ beating inside your chest is left behind.

 

Whether it’s death, love or job loss, humans will always encounter problems that stall your progress. Engulf yourself into something passionately enough and your loss of it will destroy you. Human nature; instincts which cannot be controlled, reactions and behavior that serve a positive purpose but are also a sensitive strand that if broken, all will be lost.

 

If life was predictable we would have no fun, we wouldn’t be the people we are today. Problems come and go but goals remain. Targets, which you have set for yourself, cannot be discarded. Hold onto these, whether they are linked to your past or not, they are the reason why you’re motivated to carry on. Use them wisely, for if they are tampered with you could lose it all, even the true essence of your very being.