The Perfect Birthday Present – By Trevour Mtimkulu

Written by Zithelo Mnguni. Posted in Features

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Published on August 01, 2012 with No Comments">No Comments

How many of us remember our childhood birthdays? If you don’t I remember mine very well. Looking back I see that little boy waiting  for daddy in the dim light room, waiting for my present from daddy who would have had a hard day of corporate sharecropping.  He would do his normal hard knock and when I opened the door for him I would be greeted by a packet of greasy (not so hot) chips and that was my perfect birthday present then. Unlike some kids I never had a birthday cake and I don’t remember blowing candles, wishing for a fancy toy… back to reality.

The tweets, the posts on your Facebook page from your real friends and fake friends make you feel like everyone is giving their 67 minutes and you’re just as special as Madiba but is it really the perfect present that would give your soul peace if you died at that instant? Maybe, maybe not I wonder but I will thank dearest Mark for the reminders that are so hard to ignore if you’re a Facebook addict with nothing more to do but obsess on whose commenting on your girlfriends/ boyfriends’ status.

Jeremiah got into our minds with his “birthday sex” and we got ourselves trying to get some action on our special days, premeditated sex scenes, complete with whipped cream, strawberries and wine just like in  the movies or even worse went forbidden-fruit-hunting at pubs just to  feed the thought that says;  today you’re special my king.

Cheers, drink to that, they say brandy, whisky and cognac will make you enjoy your birthday..really?, Have we become so alcohol dependant  that it has to be the driving force behind moments of merry making if its harmless then booze away and I would recommend my personal  favourite the Old #7.

Turning 24 today I had my first cake delivered to my place but the sad part is I had no one around to sing for me before I blew the invisible candles.  I then made a wish or wishes (if Tinkerbell has it)that I be granted the perfect birthday present based on the key wishes below:

1) Having that condom talk with ma father even though it’s already late.

2) My career choice be accepted by mom and she gives me her blessing  for I was chosen for art by art.

3) Wilted family trees be given life and they bear fruit.

4) I get drunk and get laid

And with these combination keys lies a perfect birthday present.